Why Stop Dreaming When You Wake Up?

So, it is 7:20pm on a Saturday night. Normally i would be just starting to get ready to go out and hang out with my friends and family on nights like this one. Instead I find myself dead fricking tired and just plain ready to pass out. This is what I get for having the job that i have. =/ Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my job and I would hate to lose it. BUT the hours don't do all too much for my social life. =P

This time last week I found myself incredibly determined. I was going to start work on my bathroom and figure out a way to fix the house up all nice for my Grama and it really looked like it was a realistic plan. I thought that i had thought it through pretty thoroughly but apparently I was wrong. Nothing is turning out the way that I need it to. The Bathroom was supposed to come fisrt because we need a shower put in more than anything else around here in my opinion. BUT what did I do? I went out and committed myself to two very large purchases and a few people (trying no to let myelf be one of them) think that I am going to get in over my head. I know that I am capable of doing this on my own. I know that I have to potential and all I have to do is figure out my Budget and things of that nature for the next while... but what would really help is if I could find another Job. Maybe not one that has as much work involved in it =P I just mean that I would really like to have another source of income because it would sincerely help out around here. It would be wonderful to be able to find a way to make all of my plans come to life. On my own. With NO HELP from anyone. Because I am sick of hearing people tell me that I don't appreciate my Grama, and I have no respect for anyone... That is just not the case. Not that my words are ever enough to plead my case. =/

Right now, I have my Boyfriend asking me to come over to his house to hang out for a while, and my Ex boyfriend asking me to go over to my brother's house to hangout with them for a while. When really, all I want to do is go to sleep. My room feels wonderful right now because I turned the air conditioner on for the first time this year today. I am just TOO comfy right now.

Regardless though I do need to go somewhere. None of my problems are ever going to get solved if I keep this string of disappointments going and going and going and going. I hate that no one seems to understand it all. I can't really explain it either. You'll just have to take my word for it, won't you?

I want to do sooooo many things right now. I just wish that I could figure out how the heck to make this happen. For once... just for once. It would be really nice to be pleasantly surprised by the positive direction my life is changing.

I love my life, and I am extremely proud of myself right now because I am doing good things with what I have to work with. I only wish that i had the means to do more for us all. I only wany the best for everyone. What do I have to do to achieve this?!?!?

I'm sure that I will figure it all out somehow. I just hope this happens sooner rather than later.

Until Next Time.

Mischief Managed.