"I feel alive when I'm with you."

"You're the best thing in my life"

You really figure out who your true friends are when you are sick and hurting. As of late, sick and hurting has been the definition of my life.

I have found myself quite a few times in the past few years thinking... Why doesn't he show that he cares more? Why isn't he more affectionate?! What am I doing wrong? What is going on... Really. But if I think about it now, there really was no cause for concern. He wasn't babying me, but he obviously cares for me otherwise he would have been gone a long time ago. Something has kept him around. And after this last week, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that he is as in love with me as I am with him.

I'm sick. Really sick. Like stomach flu, can't keep a damn thing in my stomach to save my life type of sick. This is no fun at all, but seeing how he has reacted to be being so ill has made something new spark in me. He was scared shitless when I called him and said I needed to go to the emergency room, and he has done all be could go be there for me and take care of me ever since then. Guys are weird. I don't know what it is about this time that is different, but something definitely is. I love that he is being so nice to me.

I know that after I'm better he will probably go back to ignoring me for video games and the like and being mean to me just for the hell of it sometimes, but I'm going to do all I can to make sure he knows that I see him. And I really appreciate what hems done for me lately.

=P it's a funny feeling, being in love.

Until.

(Trust me, I know this probably doesn't make sense to you if you're reading it, and if you know me at all, you should know that a blog for me is not something you should look too deeply into. I'm just rambling and I have no filter. Nor do I explain myself very often. Oh well, that's probably why this is my blog, and also probably why no one but me reads it.)