It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.

Things seem to have settled down for the most part... Right now I am focused on trying to find a job. I really feel as though I need to take care of my Grama and make it easier for us to get by. I hate that I am having such a large amount of trouble finding a job. I am not going to be like everyone else though and just blame the fact that the economy is horrible right and that no one at all has a job. That just isn't in my character. I know that it has to be something that I am doing wrong. I KNOW that it has to be something that I am doing incorrectly. =\ at this point I am being picky about the job that I get because I need it to be able to last for years. I need to be able to support myself as much as humanly possible. I can not be a Fuck up. CAN NOT be a fuck up. It is absolutely impossible for me to just give up. I need to do something to better myself. Because right now i feel as though I am seriously doing it wrong. And that is never a feeling you should have about your life. Ever ever.

Things will get better soon. I can feel it.

Dream big. Life is made of Dreams. Shoot for the moon. What have you really got to lose?!?!?