"Are you real?"

"He must be real... He's crying."

"I feel alive when I'm with you."

"You're the best thing in my life"

You really figure out who your true friends are when you are sick and hurting. As of late, sick and hurting has been the definition of my life.

I have found myself quite a few times in the past few years thinking... Why doesn't he show that he cares more? Why isn't he more affectionate?! What am I doing wrong? What is going on... Really. But if I think about it now, there really was no cause for concern. He wasn't babying me, but he obviously cares for me otherwise he would have been gone a long time ago. Something has kept him around. And after this last week, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that he is as in love with me as I am with him.

I'm sick. Really sick. Like stomach flu, can't keep a damn thing in my stomach to save my life type of sick. This is no fun at all, but seeing how he has reacted to be being so ill has made something new spark in me. He was scared shitless when I called him and said I needed to go to the emergency room, and he has done all be could go be there for me and take care of me ever since then. Guys are weird. I don't know what it is about this time that is different, but something definitely is. I love that he is being so nice to me.

I know that after I'm better he will probably go back to ignoring me for video games and the like and being mean to me just for the hell of it sometimes, but I'm going to do all I can to make sure he knows that I see him. And I really appreciate what hems done for me lately.

=P it's a funny feeling, being in love.

Until.

(Trust me, I know this probably doesn't make sense to you if you're reading it, and if you know me at all, you should know that a blog for me is not something you should look too deeply into. I'm just rambling and I have no filter. Nor do I explain myself very often. Oh well, that's probably why this is my blog, and also probably why no one but me reads it.)

Long time gone.

Soon i'll be getting a wallet case for my galaxy. This means that I will have it places, so maybe i'll be able to make use of my blogger more often again? That'd be cool... I miss this place!

The only time I'll get down on my knees for another girl...

...Will be the day I tie a shoelace for our daughter.

This quote made me smile. =)

Never trust anything that can think for itself...

...if you can't see where it keeps it's brain.

Today has been an incredibly long day. Add insult to injury, tomorrow will be worse. =\

The Mini-Me moved out tonight... Now I have a giant mess to clean up, and things to move around, and a whole upstairs to organize. Fun fun. Now- to try and find some time. =P Oy. Cuddle time. Dylan came home a night early. He's too adorable to resist snuggling up to, do i'm going to give in now.

Goodnight world!!!

Until.

Blogger App!!!...

I need a nap.

If You Don't Know Where You're Going...

...Any road will get you there.


I should be asleep. I should be taking advantage of some of the very few minutes of down time I've got before I rush off to job #2, and I should be doing so by sleeping. I can't function properly while sleep deprived. This is no good, seeing as I am ALWAYS sleep deprived as of late. - This being one of the main reasons that I have neglected my blog again. Recent talk on facebook about one of my Aunts wanting to take to the Internet with her thoughts reminded me that I too have a blog... one that I used to use as a personal journal because I was convinced that no one was ever going to read it. This, is not that blog.. this one has basically been for me to complain. A place for me to bitch about all of the silly or mundane things going on around me. It's been a very long road indeed. My life is much different now than it was when I first started this thing... but I don't really know how I could have done anything differently. I'll just have to be okay with the way things are turning out and roll with it. What else is there? There's really no going back in life. And even if that were a possibility I don't think that I would be one to choose to take advantage of this luxury. I don't want to live my life over again. I don't want to have to lose the ones I've lost a 2nd time... no matter if I could spend another day with them or another 20 years with them. I don't want to feel the pain of losing them another time around. No thank you. Call me crazy for thinking this, I don't care. Really... you're allowed to think what you will. But my opinion will not be altered. I just don't want to go back for anything. I believe that you live the life you live for a reason.. You are who you are because in the grand scheme of things, that's who you were supposed to me. So, that being said... I'm me. I'm a 21 year old "mother" of two wonderful (and sometimes annoying) teenagers who I love with all my heart. I have been with my boyfriend for well over 3 years now and through all of our ups and downs I am proud to report that we are doing really well. I love him more than words could ever come close to making sense of. There are still things in my life that I will be on here to bitch about... because my family has been doing nothing but bugging the hell out of me for the last few months. No, I don't want a do-over... I do not want to go back in time. Because all of the things that I have been through are what make my life MINE. No one else's.


I work too many hours in a day to even be able to promise regular updates, but that being said.... I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Hello Blogger Buddies...


Did you miss me?


-Until.

We're All Mad Here.

The last blog that I posted on here was from August 24th of last year. I miss blogging so much, and yet for some reason I can't really keep up with it. I always feel like I need to vent, like i need to let everything out and talk to someone and I pretty much have just been holding it all in. This makes no sense to me. I have this wonderful page here that I can come one and not have to worry about people around me being bothered by all of my problems and bullshit. Things are so much different now that I don't even know where to start to catch this thing up. I think the best way to go about this is to just start all over again. Start fresh. Just pretend that I had been writing in here all along? I don't know what else to do. Okay. Here goes.